Constantinople, 337 A.D.
Riots outside the Imperial Palace went into their third day today, with drunken soldiers clamoring for the heads of the nephews of our late Emperor, Constantine the Great. Driven by rumors that Constantine was poisoned by these relatives, these rabble have besieged the palace. Our reporter Ego Rotundus was on the scene and recorded the following interview;
Ego: "Sir, are you the leader of the rioting rabble?"
Rabble Rouser : "Me? Naaah, I'm just a comm'n soldier, revengin'n his Emperor. (shouts into the crowd) Only the son'th of Constantine! We'll only be ruled by son'th of Constantine!"
E: "But sir, do you have any proof that the nephews murdered Constantine. After all, he was 63 years old".
RR: "Proof? Proof! He died, didn' he? Afer eatn supper wif the two murderin' swine. (shout) Only the sons! Only the sons!"
E: "Constantine died after dining it's true, 36 hours after dining at a banquet at which the nephews were present. That's your proof?"
RR: "Proof? Do'n need no stink'n proof. They'r ambitious, those two. Here, lookit this!" (digs into purse, pulls out coins). "Look't this coin of Hanniballianush. Hanniballianush Regi it calls him. King! Rome hasn't hadda king for eight hunnderd years! Constantine makes'em king of Armenia and he suddnly thinks he's bettrn us! Brown nosin' bastard..."
RR: "Er, yea... us Romans. (shouts) Rule by the sons, Rule by the sons..."
E: "Speaking of coins sir, I must say you bear a striking resemblence to the portrait on this coin of Constantius Caesar, if Constantius were to wear a false beard and had been drinking for three days".
RR: "Falsch beard? Wat falsch beard?" (readjusts wire hook over left ear). "Look, you lookin' for trouble?" (pulls dagger with imperial crest)
E: "I'm leaving now. (your majesty...)"
RR: "Thash better. (shouts) Storm the palace, Only the sons!!" (distributes keys to the palace gates)
Shortly after the safe return of our reporter news came from the palace that seven heads were decorating the gates: the heads of our late Emperor's two elder brothers together with those of their sons, including Delmatius Caesar and Hanniballianus Caesar. Contrary to the desires of Constantine the Great, his sons will rule alone.