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(new) Heraclius Returns Cross to Jerusalem I mean, he
returned the cross to Jerusalem. He's not cross. He's actually
quite happy about it. Phraatakes Marries Mom, Even Oedipus Laughs at Him. After all, you have to have standards... Constantine Believes Wife, Kills Son, Then Believes Son, Kills Wife. Is This Guy Great, or What? Rumor has it that the
Emperor's wife is really steamed. What makes this story
unusual you ask? She's his sister! |
The Bells Are Ringing, Nero weds again! Bookmakers give 2:1 odds on her
lasting until December, 5:1 on Nero lasting till October. Emperor Captured by Sassinian Foe, made into Footstool. "Keep sending
me Emperors", says Shapur, "I need the furniture. It's
a shame I missed Nero, I could have made a whole bedroom suite".
Out with the old Grandson,
in with the new! Dis head on dis staff,
dat head on dat staff... |
You're Once..., Twice..., Three Times Augustus... But three strikes and you're
out. Emperor Stabs Brother in Mother's Arms - Gains Support of Elder Brothers Everywhere. "He kept looking
at me funny", says Caracalla. "And Mom always liked
him better". Leontius and Tiberius
lose by a head. Constantine VII and Mother Wrestle for Throne "It's all fun and
games until someone loses an eye. Or eyes..." |